Everyone always bangs on about ‘how strong an ant would be’, or ‘how high a flea could jump’ if it was the size of a human, and I’m sick of it. So I made a cartoon to settle it once and for all.

I called them Zoodletoons, because they are doodles about animals, and they are also toons. Go figure. Also do you know how hard it is to get a domain name these days? Everyone is just sitting on all the good combinations of nouns and verbs. What a bunch of bastards. I was going to go for Zootoons but it turns out that this is some kind of weird porn fetish. I urge you not to google it.

I started out my cartoon career doing the weekly webcomic Billingtoons – to modest success (mostly my mum continually clicking). But I thought I needed a change of scenery, which is this. Enjoy. Or don’t. Don’t let anyone tell you how to think or feel. Ever. Except that last part. I’m confused. Why are you still reading this? Does anyone actually read the about section of a cartoon? Go and get back to the funny pictures, you animal.